Saturday, January 11, 2014

My Latest Predictions for 2014

Everyone loves predictions, especially people who enjoy calling pundits who make predictions, idiots. Well, it's a new year and I'm going to go out on a limb and predict what I see for this year.

Here we go. 

1. I predict the Broncos will make it to the Superbowl and win the game by a score of 23 to 17, or perhaps 36 to 21, or something like that. If they lose, I believe whoever they play will win by the same scores (above). They will get to the Superbowl by beating New England by a score of 26 to 16.


2. Liberals will insist Obamacare be called the Affordable Care Act and those who refuse, will be dubbed 'racists.' I predict that more Americans will lose the coverage they have, and the elderly, those people over 60, especially men, who have maternity coverage, will never get to use it. But they will continue to pay for it.
3. The NSA will continue gathering data on all of us and expand their data collecting to Canada and the Middle East. From this, 2 major terrorist acts will be defused. There will be 3 major terrorist acts, however. 
4. There will be problems at the Sochi Olympics: gays will be arrested and terrorists will attempt to strike. I hope I'm wrong on this one--some of my best friends are gay. Well, I know a guy who lives next door to two guys who are gay. On a positive note, none of my best friends are terrorists. (Does that make me Islamophobic?)
5. Bill Di Blasio, the new Mayor of New York City, will be scandalized when it's discovered that he had personal real estate interests in the Central Park carriage horse ban. People will also demand that mounted police dismount and their horses be sent to pasture.
6. Facebook will decline while Twitter surges. This will also be reflected in the shorter sentences people will use when communicating complicated data.
7. At least three PETA members will be treated unethically by bears and will be assaulted, mauled, and eaten by the critters. Liberals will blame the GOP.
8. The 2014 mid-term elections will be an enormous win for Republicans. They will control the Senate and House, and Harry Reid will have nuclear fallout in his oatmeal. To make matters worse, Fox News will uncover a sex triangle between Harry, Diane Feinstein, and Nancy Pelosi. I predict the story will never make it to MNSBC or the other lame stream networks.


8. Miley Cyrus will become pregnant and not reveal the identity of the father. It will eventually be discovered that Justin Beiber is the sperm donor.
9. I predict that Robert Gates will be audited by the IRS and/or mysteriously disappear.
10. Joe Biden will make another prediction, this time it will be about Iran, and it will keep his string of wrong predictions going.
11. I predict that Jay Carney is growing his beard because he is secretly becoming a Muslim.
12. Chris Christie will be found totally innocent of Bridge Gate charges but Rachel Maddow will not drop it and eventually drive herself straight.
13. I predict that Islam will continue to try dominating the world and Muslims will continue to claim Islam to be the religion of peace.
14. I finally predict that President Obama will bring us all together as a nation of one, the economy will blossom like a Chia Pet, and taxes will be lowered. I also predict that not one of you will believe  this prediction.
15. Hillary Clinton will win the following awards and honors: a) Most Tolerant Wife of the Year, b) honorary PhD by Columbia University, c) CAIR Citizenship Award, d) SoS Award for her work in Benghazi, and e) Woman of the Year Forever Award.


My latest novel, Jihad Joe, is about Islamic terrorism and suspense.  In it I challenge the precepts of the religion through my protagonist, Zed Nill, a journalist, captured by terrorists and who is destined to be killed if the American President refuses to release three Gitmo prisoners.  Of course, American policy demands we never give in to terrorists, and for Zed, the clock is ticking.
                                             



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