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This is the fourth part in Osama's Dear Diary series, a product of my imagination. I know that I am taking a humorous view on a person so terrible, America cheered when he died and Obama took all the credit for SEAL Team Six, making more self-references than a narcissist to his mirror on the wall. This President has even named his dog "Bo" in honor of his own initials. If you'd like to read Part One go here for Part Two, go here and for Part Three go here .
March 10, 2010
Dear Diary,
It is obvious to me that if there was any way we could get Obama out of office, we could easily conquer the infidels as their nation would end up being run by their village idiot. Joseph Biden has as much intelligence and worldly skill as a hourie at a hoedown. But getting rid of Obama will be no easy task as his Secret Service guards are willing to give their lives for him and he has been campaigning for the 2012 election since he came into office. So I suspect he will be around for a very long time, and if he has his way, perhaps he will never leave office and simply declare himself America's Leader for Life. But there is a good side to this story--it seems plausible that this Obama person may very well be one of us as seen by the deference he has paid to King Abdullah and to Islam. But all that aside, it looks like it might finally rain and cool off a little. It is still as hot as a camel's scrotum in the July Sahara.
Your devoted scribe,
Osama
May 1, 2010
Dear Diary,
All is beautiful with the world. I saw a young girl playing with her dolls in the courtyard of my wonderful complex this morning. She caught me looking at her and I believe we both felt the same thing in that moment. This little girl is a Pakistani and I plan to marry her and add a fourth wife to my stable. It is Allah's wish, yadda yadda yadda, and out of respect for her father, I will wait until the child is nine, as Mohammad, Peace be upon Him, did with Aisha, to consummate the marriage. After all, Diary, it is the moral thing to do. Somehow I feel that this date will have great importance in my life. I cannot wait to tell her the news of our marriage.
Your devoted scribe,
Osama
April 30, 2011
Dear Diary,
Well, I am still stuck in Pakistan, right under the nose of the American government--those ignorant infidels. My close friend, Khalid Sheikh Mohammad (I understand he now has the cool nickname KSM) remains loyal to me and will find a place in Paradise for his service to jihad. I wish there were more jihadists like him, but from what I can judge about the world and the Muslim population explosion, there wll be more like him in the next generation. Mohammad, PBUH, and Allah, yadda yadda yadda, were infinitely wise by allowing the gift of multiple wives to a husband. This has resulted in an overflowing of our madrassas and Islam's future looks bright. Soon all the world will be saying, "There is no God but God and Mohammad is His Messenger." I know that tomorrow will bring better things. Allahu Akbar.
Your devoted scribe,
Osama
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Dear Diary,
It is obvious to me that if there was any way we could get Obama out of office, we could easily conquer the infidels as their nation would end up being run by their village idiot. Joseph Biden has as much intelligence and worldly skill as a hourie at a hoedown. But getting rid of Obama will be no easy task as his Secret Service guards are willing to give their lives for him and he has been campaigning for the 2012 election since he came into office. So I suspect he will be around for a very long time, and if he has his way, perhaps he will never leave office and simply declare himself America's Leader for Life. But there is a good side to this story--it seems plausible that this Obama person may very well be one of us as seen by the deference he has paid to King Abdullah and to Islam. But all that aside, it looks like it might finally rain and cool off a little. It is still as hot as a camel's scrotum in the July Sahara.
Your devoted scribe,
Osama
Dear Diary,
All is beautiful with the world. I saw a young girl playing with her dolls in the courtyard of my wonderful complex this morning. She caught me looking at her and I believe we both felt the same thing in that moment. This little girl is a Pakistani and I plan to marry her and add a fourth wife to my stable. It is Allah's wish, yadda yadda yadda, and out of respect for her father, I will wait until the child is nine, as Mohammad, Peace be upon Him, did with Aisha, to consummate the marriage. After all, Diary, it is the moral thing to do. Somehow I feel that this date will have great importance in my life. I cannot wait to tell her the news of our marriage.
Your devoted scribe,
Osama
April 30, 2011
Dear Diary,
Well, I am still stuck in Pakistan, right under the nose of the American government--those ignorant infidels. My close friend, Khalid Sheikh Mohammad (I understand he now has the cool nickname KSM) remains loyal to me and will find a place in Paradise for his service to jihad. I wish there were more jihadists like him, but from what I can judge about the world and the Muslim population explosion, there wll be more like him in the next generation. Mohammad, PBUH, and Allah, yadda yadda yadda, were infinitely wise by allowing the gift of multiple wives to a husband. This has resulted in an overflowing of our madrassas and Islam's future looks bright. Soon all the world will be saying, "There is no God but God and Mohammad is His Messenger." I know that tomorrow will bring better things. Allahu Akbar.
Your devoted scribe,
Osama
If you want a great read about modern
day terrorism and suspense, my latest novel, Jihad Joe, is now available both in soft cover and as an Ebook--see
the links below.
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