MI Rep. spends campaign funds at strip club: guess his political party

A Michigan Democratic state representative blew $221 in campaign funds at a strip club, according to his financial disclosures, showing that not only is he honest, but he is also an idiot. I mean, what do you get going to a strip club besides overpriced drinks and a chance to get to look at stripper nipples [so I've been told].

Rep Jewell Jones' most recent quarterly disclosures list a "constituent meeting" in March at the Pantheion Club in Dearborn, Michigan [aka Dearbornistan]. The club's venue is a topless dancing club calling itself "the oldest and most established gentlemens [sic] club in Michigan." 

The "purpose" for the strip club expense described the meeting and stripper nipple viewing as a discussion of "potential economic projects" in Inkster, Mich., [Go, Rorschach Rowdies!] which Jones represents in the state house.

Jones, who not only sits in the front row of strip clubs also sits on the legislature's regulatory reform committee. He has spent over $6,400 of campaign funds thus far, at restaurants for "work-related" meetings. One such "work-related" expenditure listed in the disclosures describes a March "dinner meeting with other legislators" at a restaurant in Las Vegas where Jones spent nearly $700 and all he had was the salad bar [kidding]. 

The 26-year-old lawmaker, who in 2016 was elected as the state's youngest-ever-most-corrupt- representative, is no stranger to controversy. He was arrested on drunk-driving charges this past April after he drove his car into a ditch.

In a police report detailing the incident, a paramedic described arriving at the scene to witness a woman in the car with her pants down while Jones's pants were partially down. Police on scene tased and pepper-sprayed the aroused Jones when he became combative, and the lawmaker threatened to call on Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D., Mich.) to get the officers in trouble, but it turns out that she is just as corrupt and probably would have given Jones an award for standing up to the man--in more ways than one.

"It's not going to be good for you," Jones said as officers wrestled him to the ground. "I run you all's budget, bro. When I call Gretchen, I'll need y'all IDs and badge numbers, everything." His blood alcohol content was 0.19, twice the legal driving limit.

Jones even violated the terms of his probation this month by failing to pay for an alcohol-monitoring tether, which he is required to wear to track his alcohol intake. This is the second time he refused to comply with the monitor.

The judge in the case ordered Jones pay a $1,000 fine for the violation and told him he would face jail time if he breaches his bond conditions again.

Las Vegas odds are 10 to 1 that he will never be incarcerated in a Democratically-run state.

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