5th Graders Can Now Get Condoms But Not For Use As Water Balloons

Chicago, ILLinois -- School children as young as ten will finally have access to condoms in Chicago elementary schools the Chicago Sun-Times reported. Meanwhile teachers across the country are advocating their agenda to teach children how much the country sucks and how all White people are evil racists.

The Chicago Public Schools policy states that schools teaching fifth grade and up must maintain a condom availability program as part of an expanded vision of sexual health education, and over 600 public schools will have them because when you're ten or eleven, you don't want to be caught without protection when you make your moves on the little redhead across the schoolyard, Charlie Brown.

"Young people [aka children] have the right to accurate and clear information [and condoms] to make healthy [age inappropriate] decisions," Kenneth Fox [aka "Foxy Ken Doll"] — CPS' chief health officer and a pediatrician of 30 years — told the paper. "And they need access to resources to protect their health and the health of others as they act on those decisions."

Fox added to the Sun-Times that school officials want to "make condoms available to students for if and when they think they need them … When you don't have those protections and don't make those resources available then bad stuff happens to young people. You have elevated risks of sexually transmitted infections, of unintended pregnancies, and that's very preventable stuff."

Heaven forbid schools leave life decisions and sex education to the parents where it has traditionally lied.

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