A Conservative Spinning Class for Media: 3 spinning lessons

The following is satire, so don't sue me.

It's obvious that the liberal media has the conservative media beaten, hands down, with how they spin the news. They never err on the side of the GOP or Trump, and they know how to preface their stories when it's clear they have no evidence or proof of their ridiculous claims. So I'm going to provide several examples of how to spin a story on the side of truth, justice and the American way.

Examples [in quotes] with my comments are below:

1. "What if Chuck Schumer is having an affair with Nancy Pelosi and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is blackmailing them to move even further to the left than they already have moved? I'm not saying for certain that this is true, but rumors are rumors and often speak to the truth. Chuck and Nancy make a perfect couple and you saw how well they go together when they responded to President Trump's address to the nation over the partial government shutdown and border wall controversy."

What can he be saying to make her smile?

Comment: I never said that any of my claims are true--I used a hypothetical approach and cannot be sued for this. The left does this a lot and it's more annoying than a slug crawling around your nether regions. But it works for those who want it to work. Unfortunately, real conservatives more often than not, are not conspiracy theorists, but there are always independents and a few scattered Democrats who might be taken in by this approach.

2. "According to a source who wishes to rema

in anonymous as they are not permitted to speak to the media, Linda Sarsour, Keith Ellison, Andre Carson and Hassan Nasrallah are suspected of planning the assassinations of President Donald Trump and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu due to Trump's moving the U.S. embassy to Israel to Jerusalem and thus recognizing it as Israel's capital. Ellison, who was not indicted for the 'alleged' physical, verbal and mental abuse of his partner, was not available for comment. Sarsour, a friend of public anti-Semite Louis Farrakhan told this reporter that jihad was going to get me and the rest of the GOP. Carson and Nasrallah were both unavailable for comment. Due to the status of the Americans involved, no charges have been filed, as was also the case with Hillary Clinton."

Comment: Anonymous sources are like gold. You don't even need to actually dig them up because you can make them up--who's going to know? And if you make the "facts" almost too incredible to believe, but still have even a small possibility of truth, people who will want to believe you will do just that.

3. "According to a recent poll by Brain Flushings, 79 percent of Democrats who voted for Hillary Clinton think she never had a private server and if she did, so what? Among Republicans the numbers are reversed. Fully 82 percent believe she committed a treasonous act and should be put on trial. Independents to the tune of 77 percent think she is not qualified to be a woman and has blood on her hands and stains on her dress."

Comment: Using the trusty 'recent poll' ploy sounds legitimate and factual. Never say where it took place or exactly when. Recent can mean a lot of things, especially considering the age of the earth. Liberals do this all the time and it works on their liberal readers, thus the term "libtard" came into vogue.

I hope that 2019 will be the year you follow Brain Flushings and have a few laughs while you get a conservative viewpoint. Politics is the new NFL without the mindless kneeling and this blog will both inform you and hopefully entertain you bigly.

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