Haqqani's killed infant girl, raped wife ex-hostage says

After landing in Toronto on Friday with his family, Canadian Joshua Boyle told the media about his family's 5-year-long ordeal as "hostages" in Afghanistan.

Boyle, who sports a Mohammad-style beard (no mustache) said the Haqqani network killed his infant daughter and raped his American-born wife in captivity. 

Five years ago, Caitlan Coleman and Boyle went on a freaking backpacking trip in Afghanistan while she was pregnant! Both are now being considered for the coveted Darwin Awards.   

As any sane person may have predicted, the couple was abducted by the Haqqani extremist network, a terrorist group linked to the Taliban. After their first child was born, Coleman became pregnant three more times in captivity, because they are not geniuses.

According to U.S. government officials, Pakistani forces carried out the rescue based on our intelligence information.

The last leg of their journey was on Air Canada from London to Toronto. The family left Pakistan on a commercial flight after Boyle got cold feet taking a U.S. plane because he was afraid he'd be arrested based on his shady background--he was previously married to the sister of a known terrorist, Omar Khadr. 

Boyle was scared he'd be sent to Guantanamo Bay Detention Center like his brother-in-law, Khadr, had for 10 years after being captured in a 2002 firefight at an al Qaeda compound in Afghanistan.

But Boyle simply wanted to take his current wife backpacking in the-land-of -the-sand, nothing more.

However, the U.S. Department of Justice said neither Boyle nor his hijab-head-covered wife, Coleman, is wanted for any federal crime. (Coincidentally, 'Coleman' is also the name of the drug-addled sidekick of happy-go-crazy serial killer, Serge Storms, in Tim Dorsey's series of novels, but that's a different story.)

When the plane landed in Toronto, Coleman could be seen wearing a tan-colored hijab and she nodded without speaking when confirming her identity to a reporter.

In the two seats next to her were her two elder children and beyond them sat Boyle with the youngest child in his lap. U.S. State Department officials were on the plane with them.

Boyle, who most likely has converted to Islam and hates the West and all the infidels who dwell here, gave the Associated Press a handwritten statement expressing disagreement with  U.S. foreign policy.

The note read:

"God has given me and my family unparalleled resilience and determination, and to allow that to stagnate, to pursue personal pleasure of comfort while there is still deliberate and organized injustice in the world would be a betrayal of all I believe, and tantamount to sacrilege."

It sounds as if Boyle may be slightly crazy, as narcissistic as a Clinton, and a perpetrator of run-on sentences.

Boyle nodded to a State Department official and said as profoundly as he could say, "Their interests are not my interests."

He also said that one of his kids is in poor health and had to be force-fed by their Pakistani rescuers.

The family de-boarded the plane before the other passengers who were then inconvenienced about ten minutes before being allowed to leave the aircraft.

Not allowing any global event to go un-tweeted, President Trump tweeted just before they landed that the U.S. was "starting to develop a much better relationship with Pakistan and its leaders." However, noticeably missing from the tweet was Trump's signature exclamation point! He cryptically added, however, "I want to thank them for their cooperation on many fronts."

In the past, the U.S. has accused Pakistan of ignoring the Haqqani network, which held the family. The group is considered a terrorist organization but they don't usually kill their captives, and instead use them to make a few bucks in ransom.

The Haqqani group previously demanded the release of Anas (the second 'a' is pronounced like a 'u') Haqqani, a son of the group's founder, in exchange for the Boyle-Coleman group. 

In a video released by the Haqqani network, Boyle begged the Afghan government not to execute Taliban prisoners, or he and his wife would be killed. 

They inexplicably weren't killed. Perhaps it was due to their love of Allah, Islam and jihad, but we cannot know what's in the mind of someone who takes his pregnant wife backpacking into Afghanistan . . . or takes a pregnant wife backpacking, period.

According to U.S. officials, several other Americans are being held by militant groups in Pakistan or Afghanistan.

One hostage is Kevin King, 60, a teacher at the American University of Afghanistan in Kabul. King was abducted in August of last year.

Then there's Paul Overby, a writer in his 70s who had gone to the region several times until his luck ran out and he disappeared in eastern Afghanistan in 2014.

But getting back to Boyle and his family, while I'm not a conspiracy theorist, I suspect there's a lot more to him and his wife than we know. 

I have very little doubt that he converted to Islam and from anecdotal evidence we see so often in the media, infidels who convert to Islam tend to do it for jihad-centric reasons. 

Methinks he's Bowe Bergdahl in Islamic civvies. 



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