Dump truck crashes FBI gate: guess who drove it

Philadelphia -- A large dump truck crashed through an FBI security check-point outside the DNC convention injuring the female activist driver and the gate. 

Nobody else was injured.

The driver has been identified as Hillary Rodham Clinton, 69, from Chicago, IL. 

When law enforcement arrived on the scene, the driver was yelling obscenities directly at them and screaming, 'Get me the f*%* out of here, you dirty ba*&#rds!"

It was determined upon further investigation that Clinton was intoxicated but no charges are being filed by the FBI. 

James Comey, the FBI Director explained that "While the driver was obviously wrong to be driving under the influence, didn't have a license to drive a dump truck, and was reckless in her behavior, she didn't intend to run into the fence and obviously didn't want to hurt anyone. So it's my opinion, based on the lack of intent, that no traffic court would find her guilty in such a case."

Instead, the FBI plans to investigate the company that leased the dump truck to see whether they willfully leased out the vehicle to Ms. Clinton, who remains in the hospital.

A hospital source, who wishes to remain anonymous because of HPPA laws, said the driver has lost the ability to speak in a modulated tone of voice. "She screams at her caregivers. She screams at everyone," said Ida Wyznkzyky, the RN who wishes to remain anonymous.



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