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Big announcement: Hillary Rodham Clinton is running for president of the United States of America!
Holy crap, Batman. Who'd a thunk?
Hillary has finally ended two years of being coy and denying that she would run, but like everything else about her, she was lying. Now she wants to be the first president of the United States of America to sport a womb. That's kind of like the entire platform she has to offer, it seems. It's the "Vote for me because I'm a woman," theme.
Here is a woman who has flown a million miles as secretary of state and all she has to show for it can be seen in the Middle East, ISIS, and our standing in the eyes of our allies. Obviously, the other accomplishment in her tour de globe is all those safe landings she experienced.
Traveling is not an accomplishment.
She announced her run on social media, a 2 minute video that culminated in her 90 plus words saying: "I'm running for president."
[Smile, smile, teeth, wide eyes.]
"Everyday Americans need a champion . . . "
If she was being totally honest, the speech would have perhaps sounded like this:
"It's my time and I'm running for president of the United States. I will not be denied what is rightfully mine as a Clinton and especially, as a woman. Yes, woman, spelled W-O-M-A-N. I'll say it again, for I'm a woooooman, W-O-M-A-N.
"You common folk need a champion. Someone to take care of you all because you're not able to take care of your miserable selves.
"So I'm hitting the road to impress you and get your vote--because it's my time and I feel it coming. I hope you will symbolically join me in this journey because if you actually physically joined me on the road, that would not make for good optics.
"I've named my van, a van that I will be taking around this wonderful nation of mine, "Scooby" because a name like Scooby appeals to the simple folk amongst you. If you see Scooby and me a comin' on down the line, give us a holler and a thumbs up.
[Make a smile and wave.]
[Wave from the wrist and make another smile. Try to look natural and cool, like that damn Obama.]
"Thank you all and God bless me for being a woman and for your vote."
[Wave, walk off stage and have a drink.]
Tweet
Holy crap, Batman. Who'd a thunk?
Hillary has finally ended two years of being coy and denying that she would run, but like everything else about her, she was lying. Now she wants to be the first president of the United States of America to sport a womb. That's kind of like the entire platform she has to offer, it seems. It's the "Vote for me because I'm a woman," theme.
Here is a woman who has flown a million miles as secretary of state and all she has to show for it can be seen in the Middle East, ISIS, and our standing in the eyes of our allies. Obviously, the other accomplishment in her tour de globe is all those safe landings she experienced.
Traveling is not an accomplishment.
She announced her run on social media, a 2 minute video that culminated in her 90 plus words saying: "I'm running for president."
[Smile, smile, teeth, wide eyes.]
"Everyday Americans need a champion . . . "
If she was being totally honest, the speech would have perhaps sounded like this:
"It's my time and I'm running for president of the United States. I will not be denied what is rightfully mine as a Clinton and especially, as a woman. Yes, woman, spelled W-O-M-A-N. I'll say it again, for I'm a woooooman, W-O-M-A-N.
"You common folk need a champion. Someone to take care of you all because you're not able to take care of your miserable selves.
"So I'm hitting the road to impress you and get your vote--because it's my time and I feel it coming. I hope you will symbolically join me in this journey because if you actually physically joined me on the road, that would not make for good optics.
"I've named my van, a van that I will be taking around this wonderful nation of mine, "Scooby" because a name like Scooby appeals to the simple folk amongst you. If you see Scooby and me a comin' on down the line, give us a holler and a thumbs up.
[Make a smile and wave.]
[Wave from the wrist and make another smile. Try to look natural and cool, like that damn Obama.]
"Thank you all and God bless me for being a woman and for your vote."
[Wave, walk off stage and have a drink.]
Tweet
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