Christmas Ball Bomber Sings Falsetto

No Glory, No Balls

Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, better known as the Underwear Bomber, or Christmas Ball Bomber, has claimed that Anwar al Awlaki is not dead. How does Umar know this? He looked into his crystal balls and his little birdie told him. Of course the 24-year old Nigerian-born, atesticular man cannot know anything about Awlaki as the falsetto-voice jihadist spends his time in prison as he awaits his trial, and has no contact with his peeps.

Umar had an outburst as jury selection got under way for his federal terror trial in Detroit, where the balless wonder is acting as his own attorney.  Abdulmutallab previously told reporters they should stop reporting that Osama bin Laden was dead. For Umar, Osama is a jihadist Elvis, I suppose.

"Anwar is alive," the soprano-voiced Umar said Tuesday, referring to American-born cleric Anwar al-Awlaki, who was killed last week by a joint CIA-U.S. military air strike in Yemen. If he thinks his crotch is a mess, he should see what Awlaki's must look like.

"The mujahadeen will wipe out the U.S. - the cancer U.S.," he added.

Anwar Awlaki is dead--see?

But the media is treating this as a real story and some people are listening and wondering just how much can they trust their government to tell the truth in these situations. Now I don't suspect we'll ever get to see the "kill photos" of Awlaki, just like we will not see bin Laden's hole-in-the-head portrait either, but it would be nice if we can somehow assuage the public curiosity and prove the imam of hate is dead and gone along with Osama. I hate to drone on about this (no pun intended), but it would be nice to be sure of the kills.

But don't take the Christmas Ball Bomber's word--he's not very credible, nor very competent, and he isn't very bright. Just saying.

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