Canadians Defy the Laws of Physics

Global Warming: this photo is blogged
Originally uploaded by Rob Hoey

As we left the house this morning my wife, Thasneem, said to me, "This ice is freezing." I couldn't hold back my wise-ass response to her observation: "If it wasn't, it wouldn't be ice." But what she was really saying was how cold it was this morning with a temperature around -19 C degrees.

One of the things I've realized since moving to Canada is how Canadians defy the laws of physics. When it's freezing out, Canadians are just getting cooled off. When it's around -10 C degrees, they put on their coat to go out for long periods of time, but still prefer throwing out the garbage in their tee shirt. When it's -20 C degrees, they admit that it's starting to get cold and those two little round blue things hanging between that guy's legs aren't Christmas tree ornaments. No wonder Canucks kick butt in winter sports and call members in the Polar Bear Club a bunch of pussies. Canadians are impervious to the cold.

Well, maybe not all of them. There are still reports of poor people freezing to death in the streets here in Canada, so I should point that out that if you live in a town where they accept donations of overcoats, you might want to think of getting rid of that ugly monstrosity that has been sitting in your closet for the past five years never to be worn again because it's out of style and as ugly as a butt pimple.

Now getting back to the subject of cold--I plan to buy a pair of hockey skates to go along the canal. Thasneem plans to do the same, though she has never skated--the ice melts too quickly in India, and just as you're all laced up, it's gone.

Hope you are having a wonderful winter. If you aren't, you better do something abooot it, eh.