Bored as a Pakistani Marriage Counselor

I am so bored today. I have a pending deal that is waiting to get quashed. My Craigslist ad is up--maybe fifty people saw it, but no calls to date. The office is as quiet as a mouse peeing on a cotton ball, and speaking of mice, they are nowhere in sight since they renovated the place and I miss the little bastards. I reconnected with an old friend on Classmates--he lived around the block and we used to bike around the neighborhood as kids--he's a grandfather now and there's enough water under our bridges to fill an ocean. Most of my coworkers are out with customers (we don't call them clients until they rent--I don't even call them customers--I call them suspects), and here I am alone and as bored as a barber in an all Sikh town in Punjab. Thasneem called earlier to tell me that they published her article in Femina Magazine. Great news and a kick in boredom's balls, but not for long. I am sitting here waiting for my life to happen, to go to Ottawa, to start a new Canuck-like life. I am practicing Canadian as a second language but my Brooklyn background makes it sound like: "Eh, faggedaboootet." So I am bored as a Pakistani Marriage Counselor and a Punjabi barber. Double my boredom, double my bum.