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Meet Ernest X. Taylor, Jr., 41, of Laplace, Louisiana, a man who looked at the trillions of dollars Congress was flinging out the window during COVID and thought, "You know what this needs . . . more fraud. Specifically, MY fraud."
On October 29, 2025, Taylor was sentenced to 84 months of government-funded room and board courtesy of the Bureau of Prisons.
See, Ernie decided that when the PPP application asked, "Have you been convicted of a felony involving fraud, bribery, embezzlement, or a false statement in a loan application or an application for federal financial assistance within the last five years?" the correct answer was yes, he absolutely had been.
Back in 2016 he admitted to conspiracy to commit federal student loan fraud and mail fraud using stolen identities. But hey, details, right?
Court documents say that Taylor made false statements to an approved lender on or about March 2, 2021, for the purpose of fraudulently obtaining a PPP loan. Taylor falsely claimed in his PPP application that he had not been convicted of a felony involving "fraud, bribery, embezzlement, or a false statement in a loan application or an application for federal financial assistance" within the last 5 years.
Obviously, the dude lied like a Biden press secretary, pocketed roughly $18,500 on the first go-round, then, because why not, then he lied again a month later and grabbed another $18,500 with the second-draw PPP loan.
Total haul: $37,000 of your tax dollars and mine, all because the honor system and "trust but verify" apparently went out the window faster than common sense in 2020.
In addition to seven years of learning new and exciting prison hobbies, Taylor gets five years of supervised release and a $100 “you’re a moron” fee. Acting U.S. Attorney Michael M. Simpson – clearly one of the adults still left in the room – praised the Secret Service for actually doing their job on this one.
And because nothing says "2020-2025 federal government" quite like incompetence layered on top of incompetence, this case apparently happened way back when but only surfaced now because of "the longest federal government shutdown in history." Yeah, because when you're handing out trillions with the oversight rigor of a drunk sailor on shore leave, the last thing you want is pesky prosecutors actually prosecuting.
Moral of the story is that when the government decides to play Santa Claus with printed money, the Ernest X. Taylors of the world will line up with their fake beards and sacks marked "swag." Simply shocking.
Enjoy those 84 months, Ernie. Try not to apply for any prison commissary loans--your credit history's looking a little… sketchy.
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