Tebow Brain Flush--Mine, Not His

The first half of the New England vs Broncos game was a blowout--I don't know what the second half is as it hasn't happened yet. the score at the half was 28 - 7 New England.  With 1:09 left, Denver had to kick it back to them because they couldn't get a first down. Hernandez picks up 20 yds, with 30 seconds left and doesn't call a timeout because he's working it fast and Denver is playing like old men with slow reflexes . . . for old men. One thing for sure, God didn't get a chance to do anything yet. Boom--another touchdown with 0:05 on the clock--a new record of 5 touchdown passes in the first half of a playoff game. So at the start of this paragraph, the score changed 35 - 7. Ron Gronkowski is destroying the Broncos.  I like it that Gronkowski's name, is spelled like it sounds and not like a typical Polish name like Grynkszwski or something like that. I used to have a theory that all Polish names were just a feeble attempt to spell Smith. Please, if you're Polish, I mean no offense--my favorite aunt Ann, is Polish. Her last name is Wasofdjasjfasfdasjos. Just kidding--I just hit lots of keys. Besides, now that I see that name, it looks Greek.

So it looks like TimTebow has them exactly where he wants them--way ahead only to beat in the last seconds of the game.  Yes, the stage is set and poor Tom Brady better watch out.


One thing about the playoffs as opposed to the Superbowl--the commercials suck.  Now comes the Halftime Report starring retired football players.


My thoughts so far--I don't want New England to win.  As a New Yorker, I have no choice but to hate everything New England, and due to the fact that I have a sister who lives in the Boston area, NE has to lose--please. So, even if New England was playing against the Hitler Hangdogs, I might just pull for the Hangdogs. But with new England and Tebow, it's a no brainer. Everyone loves Tebow--the cliche is right, he's a role model for the kids (I like it when they pronounce it "keeeds") and a decent guy who loves Jesus.


The Halftime reporters are talking about second half adjustments. Marino feels the only way the Broncos are coming back is if Tom Brady plays for the Broncos--great analysis to which I agree. Tebow needs a miracle, so the stage is set and all is well with the world . . . or will be if he pulls this off. He has stated that God has nothing to do with the outcome of these games--he may be wrong. If he wins, God definitely is a Denver fan.

Is it true that bags fly free on Southwest?  And can iphones know more than the idiots who advertise them? It certainly seems so.  It's amazing how many commercials they show at every chance they get.

The cheerleaders look cold, but they also look hot.  The Broncos are playing like the cheerleaders are disguised in their uniforms. They look like a high school team playing an NFL team and can't wait to go home. I'm waiting for the announcers to make excuses for the Broncos--I just hope my conservative readers don't try to do that for Tebow. He's great, but he isn't great tonight. Perhaps Denver isn't using a football coach tonight--perhaps they're using a dance coach because they're dancing around while Brady just threw another touchdown in the third quarter at 11:46. A frozen rope to Hernandez.  The stage is set, yet again, for a Tebow miracle.

Different game, different outcome

Is a professional football team allowed to give up and go home? I mean, it's cold out there and we already know who's going to win. All kinds of team records are being set. 1. Most points scored by a team in 3 quarters of a playoff game. 2. Most points scored against a playoff team in a playoff game. 3. Most chipped nails on defense in a playoff game. 4. Most embarrassing moments against a playoff team in one quarter of a playoff game. 5. Worst damn commercials in a playoff game and all of them spoken in a "macho whisper." 6. Most yards run in the wrong direction by a losing quarterback. 7. Highest punts by a losing team in a losing effort. 8. Most fuel wasted by an aircraft (the Goodyear Blimp) not carrying the President or his family.  The score: 42 - 7, New England. It will take a miracle to pull this out--if they do, I hope Bill Maher becomes a believer, the jerk. But so far, in the 3rd quarter, Tebow has thrown for a total of 28 yards and doesn't look like he's going to add much to this total--perhaps that's another record. Perhaps even Bill Maher could throw 28 yards, but I doubt it.


Bill Belichick looks like a cold cold idiot. I only say that with the utmost respect. I never really liked Belichick, to be honest--he used to steal signs from the other team. He's kind of like the Obama of modern football. Brady has decided to play them lefty, just to make the game interesting.


It looks like Denver is going to need a hospital bus, even that atheist Dawkins, is hurt. Buckley's hurt, and several other guys are injured--they're going to be in big trouble when they get home and their mom's find out. Orlando Franklin is now injured but to his credit, when he tried to get to his feet, he did a "Tebow."  Maybe he couldn't help it.  The New England crowd can taste blood--but that's because they're vampires.


If this were a basketball game, it would be like the Harlem Globetrotters (New England) playing The Munchkins (Denver). It's getting hard to read the names on the uniforms of the Denver players--the letters are all jumbled up from the hits they've taken.  


In all fairness, Tebow's team didn't show up for this game. He tried his best, but you just can't throw or run when your front line is playing more like social workers than football players. "We need to help those poor New Englanders--they've worked so hard to get here and we can't hurt their feelings by beating them." 


New England is on the 12 millimeter line of Denver. First and goal. Watching worms mating would be more interesting than this game. Wait--fight fight!!!! Brady punted the ball which made the Broncos angry--I heard some spicy language on the sidelin, and one of the players shouted, "That's not fair-he isn't the kicker."  It was Denver who got penalized--maybe they're not wusses after all. Just better ping-pong players than football stars.


And now through the miracle of reading, I will post the final outcome and then go to bed because the wine is making me sleepy.  New England 1098 Denver 10.   Just kidding. Final Score: New England 45  Denver 10

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