Harvey Weinstein in big trouble in prison: "It will not happen again, I swear!"

Disgraced star schtupper and former movie mogul Harvey Weinstein got caught with contraband in his prison cell which he had carefully hidden from the "screws." This time his problems didn't emerge from "Serge," the name he gives his penis, but from Milk Duds. 

Yes those round, tasty chocolate treats with caramel inside that we all know and love from the days we went to the movies and saw "Pillow Talk" and wished we could schtup Doris Day because she was so innocent (but now realize why Rock Hudson didn't exactly do any schtupping), were the contraband that could have landed Weinstein in jail, except he was already there.

Weinstein in now profusely apologizing in the hope he won't end up in the hole for a week, sharing the enclosed space with the rats and roaches of the prison where he languishes [a word I rarely use] while his colleagues in the yard yammer for his release from the devil's armpit.

Weinstein was extradited to California for trial where he faced 11 charges of rape and sexual assault. He is currently enjoying his time at the Correctional Treatment Center, which is the medical unit within the Twin Towers jail in beautiful downtown LA, the home to the homeless. The movie maven was previously convicted on a boatload of similar counts in New York, where he was sentenced to a mere 23 years in the stoney lonesome. He is appealing that case.

Now he is awaiting trial and is allowed to meet with his lawyers fact to face. But soon after a recent meeting that a search of his cell was performed and the dreaded round, chewy chocolate treats were found. Variety reported this incident on Thursday:

“This was an innocent misunderstanding,” Weinstein said. “It will not happen again. I have been a model inmate, following the rules and regulations and I am sincerely sorry.” https://t.co/goTNNWl6zg

Variety reported on the incident on Thursday:

Harvey Weinstein was caught with contraband Milk Duds in November, prompting a reprimand from L.A. County jail guards, according to records viewed by Variety.

The Milk Duds were found during a search on Nov. 10, after Weinstein had a face-to-face meeting with Shawn Burkley, one of his attorneys. The Milk Duds were confiscated, and the guards warned that they would have to search his attorneys’ legal binders and laptop bags on future visits.

Weinstein's attorneys argued that Milk Duds are hardly an item to be concerned with. "After all, it wasn't as if we brought him Bonomo's Turkish taffy, which after it's smacked and cracked can be used as a cutting instrument if he doesn't eat it first."

Weinstein try to convince the screws that he brought the Milk Duds with him when he was extradited from New York in July, but they weren't buying his taradiddle. Jail officials said he was searched when he arrived at the L.A. County jail's medical facility and jack squat was found, so they concluded the Milk Duds were passed to him during the attorney's visit.

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“This was an innocent misunderstanding. It will not happen again. I have been a model inmate, following the rules and regulations and I am sincerely sorry.” Weinstein said.

“We have been informed about this and are very sorry it happened,” lead Weinstein attorneys Mark Werksman and Alan Jackson added. “It had not happened before, and never happened since. Harvey has been a model inmate and intends to continue as such.”

What next? A hacksaw in a loaf of bread? A heater?

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