Schumer uncomfortable with snorting chocolate--wants more regulations

Chuck Schumer may have nostrils the size of a B-1B Lancer bomber's jet intake, but he isn't comfortable putting 'snortable chocolate' up in there any time soon. In fact, the Anthony Weiner guru is doing what liberals are wont to do: have federal regulators look into 'snortable chocolate' powder because he thinks it may be harmful and become marketed like a drug.

Schumer wrote to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) asking them to investigate the use of caffeine in snortable food products such as so-called Coco Loko.

Schumer, who never met a regulation he didn't like, said there's too many unanswered questions about something you put up your nose that's passed off as an innocent-sounding name like chocolate.

"This suspect product has no clear health value," he said in a statement. "I can't think of a single parent who thinks it is a good idea for their children to be snorting over-the-counter stimulants up their noses."

Sen. Schumer once snorted a La-Z-Boy recliner up his nose and the repercussions were horrendous. 

Coco Loko is marketed as "raw cacao snuf" and includes cacao powder, which comes from the coco bean used in the making of chocolate. There is also some caffeine but there are other unlisted online ingredients that may, according to some reports, include common energy-drink ingredients.

The nose candy promises feelings of well-being, mental focus, ecstasy-like euphoria and a rush of "motivation that is great for partygoers to dance the night away without a crash," says the Florida-based Legal Lean's website. 

It notes these claims haven't been tested by the FDA.

Legal Lean Co., sells Coco Loko online for $19.99 for a 1.25 ounce tin. Founder Nick Anderson (aka "Doood") said he didn't consult any medical professionals but feels that it's safe.

And feeling that it's safe should be good enough for the left.

All that Legal Lean Co. really needs to do to get Schumer off their back is to make a significant donation to the DNC and all their problems are gone--up their noses.



Tweet